Ever wonder why you're working relentlessly but still falling behind?
Here's the brutal truth: You might be playing the wrong game entirely.
A decade ago, I was training with a friend at the gym—a former NFL defensive lineman preparing for the CrossFit Games. This guy was a beast - strong, athletic, and fiercely competitive.
He needed training partners to push him, so our coach set up a workout for us.
What my friend didn't know?
I was doing 5-10 fewer reps on each set. Same weight, fewer reps.
The goal wasn't deception - it was to teach him to stop obsessing over what others were doing and just push his own limits.
Workout starts. We're neck and neck.
Second exercise - I finish before him.
The double-take on his face was priceless.
He speeds up. I maintain my lead into the next station.
Now he's in overdrive, trying desperately to catch up to someone who literally isn't playing the same game.
When we revealed the "adjustment" afterward, he burst out laughing. He'd been pacing off me until he fell behind—then went into panic mode trying to catch up.
The lesson hit him like a freight train: He'd wasted valuable energy trying to beat someone playing an entirely different game.
THE HARD TRUTH 🔥
We do this every single day.
We get distracted watching competitors, colleagues, or complete strangers on social media—and adjust our pace to theirs without knowing:
- If they're playing the same game
- If they're headed to the same finish line
- If they started with the same advantages
- If they're even playing by the same rules
According to research from the Journal of Consumer Research, upward social comparison (looking at those performing better than us) can motivate improvement, but only when we perceive the gap as bridgeable and the comparison as relevant to our goals.
But here's what happens when you're playing someone else's game:
- You adopt the wrong metrics (their definition of success)
- You implement the wrong strategies (their path, not yours)
- You chase the wrong results (their finish line, not yours)
And you waste precious energy that should be directed at YOUR race.
You're not losing because you lack talent or hustle.
You're losing because you're playing the wrong game.
YOUR MOVE ⚡
Stop playing defense. Start playing offense.
Here's your three-step reset:
- Clarify YOUR game: Define what you're actually trying to accomplish. Not what looks impressive. Not what others expect. What YOU need to achieve to feel fulfilled.
- Identify YOUR scoreboard What metrics actually matter for YOUR progress? Revenue? Body composition? Family time? Energy levels? Pick 2-3 measures that tell you if you're winning YOUR game.
- Run YOUR race Set a pace that's sustainable for YOU. The only person you need to outperform is who you were yesterday.
DO THIS TODAY: Take 10 minutes to write down what success looks like TO YOU—not your boss, not your Instagram followers, not even your family. Just you. What game are you ACTUALLY trying to win?
THE DIFFERENCE MAKER 💯
Research from Stanford University found that when athletes focused on their own performance metrics rather than competitive standings, they showed 23% greater improvement over a competitive season.
The edge isn't in beating others - it's in becoming unmatchable at YOUR game.
Use my C.O.M.P.E.T.E. Framework's first principle: Clarify who you're competing with and why.
For most of us, that's not the person next to us - it's the voice inside us telling us to settle, to slow down, to stop.
REMEMBER
The greatest Competitors aren't competing with everyone else.
They're competing with their past selves and future potential.
They're playing their own game.
And they're winning it.
I'm cheering for you to do the same this week, Reader,
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