It was 2013, and I was staring at a bank account that didn't add up.
Bills were due. Products needed to be ordered. And the checking account was almost empty.
How the heck did I get here?
Two years earlier, I'd launched Compete Every Day with big dreams and bigger ambitions. I wanted to build a brand that inspired people to be their best selves.
But somewhere along the way, I started playing the wrong game.
Instead of focusing on sustainable growth, I was obsessed with looking like a successful brand.
I spent money I didn't have on elaborate photoshoots. Invested in contractors who promised to help me scale. Loaded up with massive inventory orders because "that's what real brands do." Rented booth space at expensive events just to say we were there.
The result? Nearly $30,000 in debt and a business on the brink of collapse.
The turning point came when I was driving from Los Angeles to Las Vegas following an event where I'd lost another $10-15k that I couldn't afford to lose.
I was failing, and tears streamed down my face as I drove through the desert darkness and questioned everything I'd spent the last few years doing - and how I wasn't the person to continue doing it.
Halfway through that drive, I was struck by the memory of a conversation I'd had 18 months prior.
My friend Jake had taken me to lunch to ask about how this new Compete Every Day brand was starting.
"It's not. Well, it's not growing like I had hoped when I started. I have no idea what I've gotten myself into," I told him.
"Good, because you're now your own worst accountability partner," he told me.
Jake shared that my entire ethos was about competing in every situation, every single day. Good times? Keep competing to build on them. Bad times? Compete to change them.
He said that I could change the business and what we do, but this message is my 'ride or die' until the end because the moment I quit is the moment I tell everyone who believed in it that I was lying.
And there's too much evidence in the truth behind competing every day to do that.
As I replayed that conversation again and again in my head, my pity party shifted into something different.
I asked myself a question that changed everything: "What game am I actually trying to win?"
Was I competing to build a sustainable business that made an impact? Or was I competing for likes, approval, and the appearance of success?
The answer was painfully obvious.
LESSON: CLARIFY YOUR COMPETITION
According to a Harvard Business Review study, one of the most common reasons entrepreneurs fail is misidentifying what game they're actually playing.
I was far from alone in my mistake.
The comparison trap works like this:
- You observe the visible success markers of others in your field
- You assume those markers caused their success
- You redirect resources toward mimicking those markers
- You drain your actual competitive advantage to keep up appearances
Here's what I've learned: External success is just the scoreboard, not the playbook.
The real competition isn't other businesses. It's not even the market.
The real competition is between your current self and your potential.
This became the foundation of the first principle in our C.O.M.P.E.T.E. Framework: CLARIFY.
Before you can win any game, you need brutal clarity on three questions:
- What's my game? (What arena am I choosing to compete in?)
- Who's my real competition? (Not just the surface level answer - the real one. Your doubts, your past performance, your future potential)
- Why does winning matter? (Connect to your deeper purpose)
Once I got clear that my game was building a sustainable business that helped people compete every day—not creating the illusion of a thriving brand—everything changed.
ACTION: FIND YOUR REAL PLAYING FIELD
Here's how to avoid the comparison trap and clarify your real competition:
1. Audit your resource allocation
Take an honest look at where your time and money are going. Ask:
- Is this moving me toward my actual goals?
- Or is this just for show?
For me, this meant cutting fancy photoshoots and redirecting those resources to product development and community building.
2. Create your own scoreboard
Define what winning means to YOU, not what it looks like on Instagram:
- What metrics actually matter to your goal?
- What daily actions will move those metrics?
I created a simple daily checklist: Did I connect with customers? Did I improve our products? Did I share our message authentically?
3. Run your own race
The fastest way to lose is to constantly look at other lanes:
- Set your pace based on your capabilities and goals
- Measure progress against yourself, not others
I stopped checking what competitors were doing and focused exclusively on our own growth metrics.
4. Apply the "future self" filter
Before any significant business decision, ask:
- Is this moving me toward my potential?
- Or am I just trying to look successful right now?
This single question saved me from countless poor investments.
WELL-ROUNDED: BEYOND BUSINESS
This principle of clarifying your real competition extends beyond entrepreneurship:
Career: Instead of chasing job titles that look impressive, focus on developing skills that will make you exceptional. What game do you want to win professionally?
Relational: Are you trying to look like you have the perfect family on social media, or are you genuinely investing in meaningful connections? What does winning look like in your relationships?
Health/Fitness: Are you exercising for the Instagram photo or for the strength and energy it gives you? What's your real health game?
Personal: Are you pursuing hobbies and interests that truly fulfill you, or just ones that look impressive to others? What matters to YOUR growth?
REFLECTION
It took me years to climb out of that $50,000 hole. Years of stress, sacrifice, and hard lessons.
But that painful experience taught me the most valuable business lesson I've ever learned: Clarity precedes victory.
You can't win a game you haven't defined. You can't beat competition you haven't identified. And you certainly can't sustain success that isn't aligned with your deeper purpose.
So I'll ask you the question that saved my business:
What game are YOU trying to win today?
Are you competing against your own potential, or just for others' approval?
The answer will determine not just whether you win or lose, but whether you're playing a game worth winning at all.
Go chase your best this week, Reader,
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