Hey Reader,
Before I dive into today's email, here's a quick video of encouragement for you this morning. Keep showing up to make an impact.
Leadership Isn’t What Most Of Us Thought...
Here's the Truth
Stepping into leadership for the first time feels like a significant win—until reality hits.
Many new leaders fall into the same traps, believing myths that set them up for struggle instead of success. We step into our new role with the expectations of how "things are supposed to go..."
...and reality has a very different perspective.
These incorrect assumptions can lead to frustration, disappointment, and even questioning of "what did I get myself into" thoughts.
The good news is that if we have a better idea of the challenge we're getting into, the better prepared we are to face it.
Like running a race - if you train for it and expect things to be difficult, then when difficult hits, you aren't crushed mentally. It's simply par for the course.
Let’s break the most common myths I see with leaders and give you actionable steps to lead with confidence.
Myth #1: Leaders Must Have All the Answers
Reality: No one expects you to know everything and pretending to can (and will) damage trust.
Many of us (myself included) have made the assumption that we HAVE to have all the answers. Someone asks us a question and our insides suddenly go into a knot when we don't know the right way.
Sometimes we hem and haw to vaguely answer the question. Sometimes we ask a question back to buy ourselves time or get the other person to answer for us.
And our inner critic can increase in volume about how "better leaders would know the answer and you don't."
The good news is that you don't actually have to know all of the answers - you simply need the courage to admit what you don't know and the commitment to finding out what you need to.
Consider instead: Replace the inner pressure of "I need to have all the answers" with "I need to find the best answers."
Encourage curiosity, ask great questions, and be ok not knowing it all.
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Myth #2: Your Job Title Equals Authority
Reality: A leadership title doesn’t guarantee influence. It must be earned.
You don't automatically become a leader just because you were promoted. You may now be a manager - but leadership influenced is earned through relational deposits.
Instead of relying solely on your title to command respect, focus on how you can better know your people this week. Schedule a cup of coffee or lunch to be interested in them (versus having to show how interesting you are in this new role).
Consider instead: Focus on building trust through consistency, reliability, and transparency. Be the leader who listens, supports, and follows through on commitments.
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Myth #3: Great Leaders Are Liked by Everyone
Reality: If you try to please everyone, you’ll lead no one effectively.
You can't make everyone happy. The sooner we stop trying to, the sooner we can focus on being the most impactful for the group.
Georgia football coach Kirby Smart keeps this reminder in his office about the costs of great leadership:
No. 1, you will have to make hard decisions that negatively affect people you care about.
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No. 2, you will be disliked despite your best attempts to do the best for the most.
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No. 3 , you will be misunderstood and won’t always have the opportunity to defend yourself.
These are often the hidden costs of leadership. Knowing what they are and accepting them is key to growing your influence.
Consider instead: Shift your goal from being liked to being respected. Make decisions based on what’s best for the team, even when they’re unpopular.
(PS - One helpful resource if you struggle with needing to be liked is the book, The Courage to Be Disliked.)
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Myth #4: Leaders Do Everything Themselves
Reality: Strong leaders empower others—they don’t carry all the weight alone.
Many of us struggle with delegation because we were so dang good as an individual contributor. We know how to work hard and do things, so why give it to someone else (who might not do it as good as we can or the same we do).
Yet, as we grow in our career, we have to shift our thinking from doing it all to educating and empowering our teams to do it instead.
This doesn't mean we give away all of our work - it's simply that we learn to delegate our teams so we can get more work done (and we can focus on growing people versus our to-do lists).
Consider instead: Learn to delegate. Identify tasks only you can do and empower your team with the rest.
Giving ownership fosters growth and strengthens the entire team.
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Myth #5: If I Work Hard Enough, People Will Follow
Reality: Hard work matters, but without connection, it won’t inspire action.
Hard work lays the foundation for leaders - but most believe it simply stops there. The work you do simply provides the example that you'll do anything you ask your team to do.
The key to getting others to follow you is to invest in them.
Consider instead: Prioritize relationships. Take time to understand what motivates your team members.
A great leader balances hustle with genuine human connection.
Great leadership isn’t about having all the answers, being popular, or carrying the entire load yourself.
It’s about influence, trust, and impact.
I'm cheering for you to impact others today, Reader,
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This Week on the Podcast
Yesterday​
5 Ways a Leader Can Juggle Direct Reports with Their Own Priorities
Wednesday​
Mailbag Q&A
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